Mafia revenge on cat

Good story from The Telegraph:

Russia's only "sniffer cat", hailed for its successes in the campaign against the bloody and lucrative world of caviar smuggling, has been run over and killed in a suspected contract killing.

After wandering in to a customs checkpoint as a stray kitten last year, Rusik soon became the scourge of the Stavropol region's mafia by hunting out caviar being smuggled from the Caspian Sea to Moscow, and on towards the lucrative Western market.

Powerful criminal groups control a black market estimated at £1 billion in the coveted caviar.

"One day Rusik just leapt into the boot of a passing car at the checkpoint and immediately sniffed out some sturgeon," Sergei Kovalenko, a police officer, said of the talented Siamese. "After that we decided to use him all the time."

Rusik's prowess was made public last week. It proved to be a fatal error. Now Rusik is dead, mown down by a car in which he had once discovered smuggled sturgeon.

Rusik's demise was just the latest blow to Stavropol's crime-fighters. Another cat, Barsik, succumbed a few weeks ago after eating a poisoned mouse.

Pick Me Up magazine

And i thought Closer was a treasure trove of excellent real life stories, Pick me Up magazine has raised the bar with tales including:

I'm marrying a smurf

My boob exploded in Morrisons

And the ultimate:

I squash men to get back at my thin sister

Thanks Harri for introducing me to this.

Lolita go home

I've not got a clue what she is singing about, probably a warning to coquettish young Frenchies to avoid the perils of hanging round with dirty old men I imagine (or maybe not), but this song is a quite lovely slice of 70s pop – and has the added bonus of Jane Birkin being unfeasibly hot. Cowell and co. take note, this kind of record is surely perfect for plundering, watering down and adding a few 'oohs' and 'ahhs' to give rubbish reality TV winners a number one single. It's got SuBo's name all over it, stick her in a pair of flairs and a vest riding round on a Raleigh Chopper for the video and I guarantee success.

My new favourite couple

Another gem from the goldmine that is Closer Magazine's Real Life Stories.

"Jean boasts of dirty dancing with young men and slapping their bums as she sexily gyrates against them on the dance floor!"

Cheeky minx!

Blu animation

I was talking about this video to a friend who hadn't seen it so thought I'd put it up in case there's anyone else who's missed out. It is amazing, the sheer scale of the thing blows me away. Probably one of the best thing I've ever seen in street art.

When hip hop was good pt. 3

One of Gangstarr's finest moments. The ridiculously camp delivery of the last verse is incredible. If I ever go to a place where they do hip hop karaoke I'd be straight up there ready to spit this one! Good video too – double denim, fresh moves and girls in bikinis. Nice and Smooth!

Southern Fried and Tested 2 review

...and here's another one:

Ten years is a lifetime in dance music, so you have give credit to Southern Fried Records’ longevity as they celebrate 15 years in the game. Norman Cook’s label started off as a vehicle to release his own productions as Mighty Dub Katz, the Pleased Wimmin and that Freak Power tune from the Levi’s ad with the bald guy singing. Fast forward a decade and a half and Fatboy is releasing the second of his Southern Fried and Tested mix series, compiling some of the imprint’s successes over the years. This time label producer, sometime Chemical Brothers tour DJ and fan of musicals Nathan Detroit steps up to showcase a batch of back-catalogue classics. The premise is simple – fit as many tracks in to 70 minutes as humanly possible, while retaining a cohesive mix rather than the disjointed cut-up style usually adopted for this type of cram-it-all-in project. Think of it as an extended Annie Mac 5-minute mash-up.

With tracks by staples of the Brighton music scene Caged Baby, Radio Slave and Norman himself in his Brighton Port Authority guise, star names including Armand Van Helden and Touche, plus remixes from newer artists such as Laidback Luke, Herve and Tim Green, there’s plenty to be getting on with. Despite the press release claiming they’ve trawled through the label’s back catalogue, most of the records have been made in the last 3 years, and the list of people involved, particularly Riva Starr, Boy 8 Bit, Jesse Rose and Switch, suggests they’ve tried to remain relevant by pitching the mix at the fidgit sound made popular in recent times by the producers on labels Made to Play and Dubsided. It’s probably for the best that there’s no real concession made to Southern Fried’s more commercial releases, they’ve wisely left out the frankly dreadful remix of Elton John’s Are you Ready for Love, but after the tenth wobbly bassline in 15 minutes you’re left longing for a change of pace.

The problem lies with a lack of variety and the inability for the mix to develop. By trying to pack as many tracks into one CD as physically possible the individual songs get lost in the process. When a track is filled with as much sonic lunacy as the Crookers mix of Dusty Kid’s The Cat, if it’s only given just over a minute to play and no time to appreciate the huge drop you lose the full effect. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fairly innocuous, fun mix. In fact, it’s the perfect soundtrack for a load of hyperactive 16 year olds at a GCSE results party pissed on Cinzano stolen from their parent’s cocktail cabinet jumping around pretending to be in an episode of Skins. But for the rest of us there’s just not that much to get excited about.

Steve Bug review

I've started doing a few reviews for the Notion Magazine website. Here's one, please excuse some of the pretentious language, it was harder to write 500 words on techno than I anticipated!

Well, well, well, a dance music compilation album. You don’t see many of those around these days. With podcasts and thousands of mixes readily available online, all for the princely sum of zero pounds, the cult of the mix CD seems to have died a death. But NRK are no strangers to releasing compilations and, after Loco Dice’s first instalment of The Lab went down well with critics, they’ve picked Poker Flat label boss Steve Bug to be in charge of number two.

For the uninitiated Steve Bug has pretty much done it all. Owner of three record labels, kick-starter of the minimal explosion, Fabric regular, international DJ and producer – on a ‘things DJs should do before they’re forty checklist’ you’d see a lot of ticks by Steve’s name. Here he is given two discs and two and a bit hours to showcase the various facets of his sound.

Deep house is the order of the day for disc one, the sound that seems to be flavour of the month with the sunglasses at night, artfully sculpted hair and low V-neck t-shirt crowd. Steve however has been releasing house records before it became ‘cool’ again, so he’s allowed to get away with it. Starting off with the shuffling rhythm of Nick Höeppner’s Makeover, proceedings move along pleasantly enough, but when there’s deep house there’s usually some deep soulful vocals lurking around the corner. Whining vocals are up there with the words ‘filthy, dirty, sexy electro’ on a flyer as two of my most hated things in dance music, but luckily impassioned warblings are restricted to just a few tracks. The overall feel of the mix for me is one of relaxed enjoyment, particularly when the hypnotic melodies of Huub Sand, released on every respectable deep houser’s label of choice, Running Back, merge into the breathy percussion of Claire Ripley’s Kismet.

The second disc focuses on more peak time tech house and techno sounds – the kind of stuff I’d want to hear if I was going to see Bug play. Beginning in a similar manner to disc one, parred-down house soon makes way for assertive basslines and the crashing cymbals of DJ Koze’s reworking of Strange Behaviour by Blagger. For a moment Steve returns to more percussive territory, but this is just a segue into the bumpity Chicago groove of Joris Voorn’s version of Steve’s own Swallowed Too Much Bass. And by the time he drops some proper techno in the shape of Traffic Jam by Cobblestone Jazz I’m a happy man.

So I reckon Steve’s done a pretty good job, but this compilation definitely isn’t for everyone. For those with both feet firmly placed in the ‘techno really is mind-numbing repeatitive rubbish’ camp, this mix, and the first disc in particular, will certainly do nothing to change opinions. But anyone who has ever found themselves on the middle of the dance floor at 4am swaying their head to monotonous rhythms and thought ‘this is actually really good fun’ should definitely give this compilation a try.

Watch The Wackness

Even though it has got one of the worst titles I've seen, The Wackness is one of the best films I've seen all year. I wouldn't normally write about a film, but I haven't heard many people talk about this one so thought I should mention it.

Set in 1994, the story is about Luke Shapiro, a weed dealer with no mates who has just graduated from a high school for rich kids. Luke's dad's business has collapsed, so to get some money together before going to uni he knocks out bud all over New York from an ice cream cart. One of his customers is psychiatrist Dr Squires, played by Ben Kingsley, who gives Luke therapy in return for weed. An unlikely friendship forms between the pair, as they discuss Luke's anxiety and inability to get laid. The third main character is Dr Squires' step-daughter Steph, who hangs about with Shapiro as all her mates have left the city for the summer and she has nothing better to do. The film revolves around the development of these two relationships, and that's pretty much it.

Despite the fact that I'm not from New York, was 11 in 1994, never sold weed, didn't see a shrink, had friends and didn't go to private school, I still felt an affinity for the Luke character. Watching him gave me some weird kind of parallel universe Wonder Years connection feeling, which is definitely a good thing for a film to do! And it has a cracking soundtrack of early Nineties hip-hop with a lot of Biggie, some Tribe Called Quest and a Will Smith banger. It kind of went under the radar when it was released last September, so if you haven't seen or heard of it definitely track it down – or tap up Dave and he'll lend you his copy.

Barry De Vorzon Warriors intro

Found this while watching Andy Reynolds videos. Absolute banger, like proto-LCD soundsystem.

RVCA at The Berrics

Nice little session at The Berrics with a bit of the Beatles thrown in for good measure.

When hip hop was good pt. 2

Couldn't find the actual video but I'm sure you'll agree that's a strong look.

Rope chains? Check. Heart ring? Check. Gold bangle? Check. Grill? Check. Eye patch? Check. Crown? Massive check.

America's got talent?

Whilst building a giant card tower is fairly impressive, you have to feel the 4 days spent making the thing, and in fact the weeks and weeks he spent practicing stacking cards could have been but to better use. Like cheese carving. Definitely one of the world's most useful skills.

Rhys Darby

I went to see Rhys Darby aka Murray from Flight of the Conchords do stand up the other day. I have to say it was pretty disappointing, he just wasn't very funny. The section he did where he pretended to be a couple of different characters, a whale watcher and a UFO spotter, fell completely flat, and his Gervais-esque attempts at faux Hollywood A-lister arrogance couldn't do much to save the show.

Still, he did have a pair of custom-made silver nikes which caught my interest – shows how much fun I was having! Turns out he did some adverts with Roger Federer that play up to his character acting strengths, rather than his sub-par stand up weaknesses.

Biggest dunk ever

Lock meh con san ji na koi. Just what I was going to say.

Pikeys say the funnist things

Some amazing quotes here from a charming young lady whose mum was sent to prison because she refused to go school. Favourite lines include:

“When Mum confronted me about my drinking, I tried to stab her with a kitchen knife,” says Michelle, whose pals buy her booze with their benefits. “I feel bad about that.”

“Mum begged me to go (to school) because prison had been so awful, but I preferred staying in bed,”

During one 10-hour binge, Michelle drank eight litres of cider, 16 cans of lager, two bottles of wine and a litre of vodka – a shocking 140 units – 55 times the recommended daily allowance for a woman.

Amazing.

Siggi Eggertsson

Siggi Eggertsson is an amazing Icelandic graphic designer who no doubt earns loads of cash, gets masses of cool stuff for free, owns a fancy flat and has an obscenely hot model girlfriend. You might recognise some of his work from the first Gnarles Barkley album, but I prefer the series of geometric portraits he does.



And 'cos I can't resist a good bit of shapes amassed apparently at random but with a semblance of order here's one more.



Visit his website here.

Best. Video part. Ever.

A drunken orangutan, Portishead and some of the biggest frontside flips I've ever seen.

Spud Webb

5ft 7in Spud Webb wins the dunk contest at the 1986 all-star game.

Hawtin and Dubfire

Hawtin b2b with Dubfire is a lot of people's dream. I'm not quite sure I'm fully down with all the Richie worship but judge for yourself here as they push Traktor to it's limits with a live set from Exit Festival. The second hour is Loco Dice and Magda b2b which I think might prefer.

Play him off...

Another stirling performance by the maestro.

A gay fish

I despise Kanye West. Pretty much ever since I saw him run on the stage at the MTV Awards and slag off Justice for winning best video, 'cos he though his was better as it cost millions of dollars and he was 'jumping canyons and shit' I've had him down as a retard. So when he got savagely rinsed by South Park it was a great day for anyone who doesn't equate money to talent.

Watch the episode here

When hip hop was good

Part one

Drinky Crow

When I moved into a new flat we literally had nothing in it apart from a sofa so we had to deck the whole place out. I figured we needed some crap to take up some space so went off to Play Lounge to pick up a couple of bits. I saw this drunk crow figure which was the right price, looked alreet so bought it not having a clue what it was. Anyway, a bit of research shows it was a comic strip by some guy called Tony Millionaire. A bit more research and I found there's a cartoon of it, which is actually pretty decent.

Tom Penny

I remember this footage in Tom's part with Geoff Rowley from the Uno Transworld video I had. Interesting to hear the back story to go with it.